Lauv is a singer, songwriter and producer from California. On March 6th he released his debut album “~how i’m feeling~“. The record totals 21 songs and includes past singles such as “Drugs & The Internet”, “fuck, i’m lonely” featuring Anne Marie and “i’m so tired…” featuring Troye Sivan, to name a few.
The album works as a follow up of the compilation album I Met You When I Was 18 that Lauv released in 2018.
For the concept of the album the singer choose to highlight 6 characters that origin from one question, “who am I?”, and are distinguished by colors: Existential Lauv (purple), Hopeless Romantic Lauv (blue), Goofy Lauv (green), Positive Lauv (yellow), Fuckboy Lauv (orange) and Spicy Lauv (red). These are all the sides that exist of him as a person and each one writes parts of this album, allowing him to express himself completely and making the project 100% Lauv.
On an Instagram post in October, he explained that “~how i’m feeling~ is all about embracing personality and all its different aspects. the idea that we are not *one thing* and in fact we can be many different things on many different days.”
Some songs are written based on the perspective of one or more of the characters.
The album opens up with single “Drugs & the Internet”. The song it’s true to Lauv’s electro-pop sound a relatable lyric. It talks about the singer’s struggles with anxiety, depression and the influence of social media. “I started to recognize my obsessive bad thoughts and depression was not based on rational events or thinking. I still went to the dark places and had days where I could do little but stay in my bed and obsess.” He shared on Twitter in early 2019. The song’s a combination of Existential Lauv and Fuckboy Lauv.
The album continues with “fuck, i’m lonely” which was the third single and features British singer Anne-Marie. The track was featured on the soundtrack of Thirteen Reasons Why’s Season 3. This song falls under Hopeless Romantic Lauv’s perspective while painting the picture of a lover that left you behind over. It’s accompanied by a catchy beat and plays on words (“It’s been me, myself and why did // you go, did you go?” opposed to the known phrase “Me, myself and I”).
The third song is called “Lonely Eyes” and it talks about how he only feels connected with a girl who has the same lonely eyes as him. It’s a comforting song about understanding and uplifting someone who feels left behind.
“Sims” follows and, as Lauv himself describes it, it’s about “meeting the right person at the wrong time”. It references the “what if’s” of a situation going differently after messing up.
A short film was released as a companion for the song where the concept of the album is explained.
The next song follows a very similar topic to the one that precedes it and it’s titled “Believed” and it talks about regretting not paying attention to what was in front of him while he was part of a relationship and how he wished he would be able to go back.
There’s only one song under the perspective of Goofy Lauv and that’s “Billy”. He explained that it came after he started medications for his mental health, and he woke up one day feeling “unbelievably happy”. Lauv told Apple Music that it “was one the songs that just came out of nowhere while I was working on something else. My dog is named Billy, I think that’s where the name came from. I had just gotten him, and to the song, it’s somewhat fantasy, somewhat autobiographical.”
Lauv explained that “Feelings” it’s about when you’re on the edge, that moment in between more than friends or not, with someone who isn’t sure about going further than a friendship. He tries to change her mind.
The next collaboration of the album comes in the form of “Canada” and features Canadian singer Alessia Cara. The mood of the song differs completely from the past songs and features a more acoustic sound. He told Apple Music that the inspiration of the song was a top topic on Twitter that said that “Studies show that to have the best life quality you should move to Canada” so the song talks about moving there and about the happy life they would have there. This song has a mixture of Positive Lauv and Hopeless Romantic Lauv.
The following song, “For Now”, continues with a similar sound that slowly picks up as the sound goes on. It describes a long-distance relationship and the struggles of feeling close and missing that person.
“Mean It” follows and it’s the next collaboration on the record featuring LANY. It describes the feeling of wanting to mean more to someone who doesn’t have you as a priority in their life. The beat picks up even more on this one and has more elements of electro-pop. This song falls under the perspective of Spicy Lauv.
The midpoint of the album comes in the form of “Tell My Mama”. Lauv says it’s under the perspective of Fuckboy Lauv because “I reference things, drugs and whatever. I think the way that I sing about it, I listen back and I’m like, ‘All right, it’s a little f**kboy.’ Somebody might take it as if you’re bragging about it or something like that.”
The song works as an open letter to his mom and the things that he caused her when he was younger and currently. It also references his struggles with mental health.
The 12th track it’s titled “Sweatpants” and it’s about his feelings and downfall after being left by someone.
Three other collaborations follow. First “Who” with Jungkook and Jimin from Korean band BTS. This was their first-ever all English collaboration. The sing feels very dramatic and it talks about being a relationship with someone who changed who they were. The song comes from the perspective of Existential Lauv.
“i’m so tired…” with Australian singer Troye Sivan comes next, the sing was released in early 2019. It’s the perfect anti-valentine anthem for those who are sick of the topic and failing at it.
Lauv’s only bilingual collaboration comes in the form of “El Tejano” featuring Mexican singer Sofia Reyes. The title of the song references a bar in downtown Los Angeles and the song talks about meeting someone there and connecting with them for the night. The sound differs slightly from Lauv’s usual sound having a more Latin influence but being true to his electro-pop vibe. The song’s from Spicy Lauv’s perspective.
“Tattoos Together” follows and talks about getting a tattoo as a memory of someone to have no matter what happens between them. Luav told MTV that “It’s this super, super meaningful song to me, that one’s basically about… I feel like these days, I’m so used to never being alone but feeling so alone. It’s so easy to feel totally isolated even if there’s people around you. I just think it’s this condition that a lot of people in my generation feel.” The song is incredibly upbeat and catchy. It’s from the perspective of Positive Lauv.
Existential Lauv presents the next song titled “Changes” and it talks about bettering yourself. It has a very positive, hopeful and uplifting perspective on trying to improve your life. It reassures the listener as it describes the situation and reminds you that “It’s all gonna work out, it’s all gonna work out someday”.
“Sad Forever” comes from a place of sadness and feeling low and it talks about how he wants that feeling to be over. On the single’s art Lauv writes that “I wrote this song at the peak of my obsessive anxiety before I decided to get on anti-depressants. If there’s one thing I learned, medication is not the enemy.” This song also falls under Existential Lauv.
The next song it’s called “Invisible Things” and it references things that he loved in a relationship. All of these are invisible because they aren’t materialistic and are moments instead.
“Julia” it’s by far one of the rawest and most vulnerable songs that Lauv has on this album. It’s a ballad that doubles as a public apology to former girlfriend Julia Michaels for all the things that he put her through while they were together.
The album closed with “Modern Loneliness” at the hand of Existential Lauv. The song starts slowly and picks up as he explains what we loneliness feels, being around people, being out there but feeling alone anyways. Lauv encourages fans to listen to its lyrics since he says it’s the most important song of his career so far.
With a strong debut true to all sides of him, Lauv narrates and creates images relating to heartbreak, mental health, confusion and a bit of fun on this album making anyone feel understood by him.
You can listen to ~how i’m feeling~ below.
