Record-breaking singer-songwriter, Halsey, has been working nonstop despite their last album, Manic, being only a year old and more importantly experiencing pregnancy with their first child. Halsey’s most recent project, If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power, was announced through ominous billboards and social media posts but more impressively, had no designated single leading up to its debut. This marketing technique allows the album to be consumed more organically, as its perceived one whole entity rather than split segments. Halsey used that to their advantage and created an hour-long film, directed by Colin Tilley, transforming the album’s music into a cinematic experience. The Turor-era thriller follows Halsey’s character, Queen Lila, through a “lifelong social labyrinth of sexuality & birth.” The film was internationally featured in select theaters through IMAX shortly after the album’s release.
Reframing the focus back onto just the album itself, though, If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power is a striking example of how versatile of an artist Halsey is. They collaborated with industrial rock musicians from Nine Inch Nails, Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross. Reznor & Ross also have experience with scoring films, most notably the 2010 drama The Social Network. With all things considered, Halsey, Reznor & Ross were bound for glory.
The first track, “The Tradition,” is a haunting piano ballad that transforms into an orchestral plea for emotional peace. Its cinematic undertones offer itself to be visually perceived by each individual listener. “Ask for forgiveness, never permission,” is one of the most significant lines chanted throughout, as the protagonist strives to empower themselves and others who may feel similarly. By track 2, “Bells in Sante Fe,” we hear even more of the signature Nine Inch Nails influence as the song builds into an influx of industrial synths. The lyrics of the track reflect on Halsey’s overwhelming fear of her current pregnancy resulting in another miscarriage, as she’s experienced before. All of which is symbolized in a religious context with mention of Judas’s betrayal to Jesus from the Bible as well as Halsey representing the Madonna, or Virgin Mary, as the famous artwork of “Madonna And Child” is recreated in the album cover. The following track, “Easier than Lying,” reintroduces the darker, grungy rock side of Halsey that we briefly saw with their single “Nightmare” back in 2019. With crashing cymbals, a booming bassline and 182 beats-per-minute, Halsey manages to belt out their internalized angst. The bridge of “Losing you is easier than / Lying to myself that you love me” also intentionally refers back to the track “Lie” from Hopeless Fountain Kingdom with the lyrics: “…if you don’t love me no more then lie.” Evidently, this aggression & resentment resulted in significant self-reflection & character development.
“Lilith” is next in the queue as it transitions to a bass-and-percussion-heavy groove with a loose yet rhythmic style of singing as if it were freestyle. This track explores Halsey’s inner strife with more comparisons to religious entities, in this case Lilith. Although Lilith represents a demonic female figure in Jewish scriptures, they also more importantly represent female independence & power. Referred to as the “night creature” or “night monster,” Lilith can also be portrayed as an owl (a noteworthy jump-scare in Halsey’s film features said owl.) Moving along to track 5 is “Girl is a Gun,” a popularized feminist idiom and a sonically chaotic tune. The bellowing 808-drops and techno-charged breakdowns enhance the erratic nature of Halsey’s lyrical predicament. Embedded in the noisescape, Halsey recounts their past relationships and shifts the perspective off of self-blaming (like in their 2017 single, “Bad At Love”) and onto a healthier, self-empowering mindset. By track 6, “You asked for this,” shares a similar internal battle with herself, but this time it regards the role she plays as a sensationalized artist. It’s another rock anthem charged with gritty, distorted guitars & bursting drums.
About halfway through the record, is the acoustic ballad “Darling,” bearing as a lullaby for their first born child. The sentimental line “But only you have shown me how to love being alive” concludes each maternal chorus as the guitar continues to pluck. Track 8 is “1121,” or 11/21, since November 21st was the date that Halsey discovered she was pregnant. The song tackles this foreboding & anxiety they have of experiencing another loss of a child & being unable to celebrate the potential creation of life because of this trauma. It’s sonically framed as another piano ballad, but is amplified by electronic adornment as she cries, “Please don’t leave / Don’t leave me in the shape you left me.” The tempo picks back up by track 9 with another nuanced rock melody, “honey.” The lyrics describe their fascination & enamorment with this woman, who Halsey once referred to as a “wild girl.” They claim her to be the embodiment of bittersweet: sweet like honey, but can sting like a bee.
Guided back to the cinematic universe is the evocative track 10, “Whispers.” This song artfully masters the intensity of mental anguish with intrusive thoughts being menacingly whispered over a soundtrack of a looming industrial atmosphere. “Camouflage, so I can feed the lie that I’m composed;” a concept all too familiar to those who suffer with mental illness. “I am not a woman, I’m a god” is the following track and now the leading single of the record. It discusses the mentality of trying to find a balance between the duality of self-loathing & self-worshipping. The title could also very well refer to finding comfort & power in their gender non-confirming identity. Tumultuous guitar distortions introduce the following track, “The Lighthouse,” where Halsey narrates a sailor’s tale, based on a past toxic relationship. This concept is inspired from Greek mythology, where sirens (or mermaids) lure sailors with their captivating songs that eventually lead them to their death. In this case, Halsey is a siren and the ne’er-do-well is the sailor. Final track, “Ya’aburnee,” (roughly translated from Arabic as “you bury me”) is a sonically & emotionally vulnerable song. There are twinkles of keys and a faint rhythmic bass guitar, but Halsey’s raw vocals are in the forefront as they plead to never have to experience firsthand a loved-one’s (specifically their son) death. These morbid yet compassionate thoughts repeat in the chorus: “Darling, you will bury me / Before I bury you.” A delicately beautiful way to conclude a whirlwind of emotions.
If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power could be considered a stark contrast of Halsey’s prior musical catalogue but it should, more importantly, be seen as a visual & audible representation of personal growth that bleeds into creative outlets. Sure, Halsey birthed a human being, but they also birthed an incredibly emotive & influential album that the little human being will be singing along to one day and that’s badass.
